Recently so much has been going on that is thrilling and exciting to me. I am full of energy that drives me on. To find Dirk has been and still is my goal.
Apparently it also is the purpose of my life.
Those decades of searching for Dirk and my *Stasi confinement* have shaped my personality, and it was a tough act. No one can take that away from me. It has become my essence. The conversations with my journalist friend keep providing us both with new approaches, and we try to realize them bit by bit.

Today I got the phone number of a mom who is also *searching* for her child. Of course I will contact her. Despite the courage I keep feeling I am also afraid of that phone call. Because I know how I feel when I talk about it, even though it can be liberating at times to talk about it. But how does that other *mom* deal with it? Who has helped her *survive* this throughout the years? That and so much more is on my mind. But I will do it tomorrow. I think it may also help that woman to talk to a mother who has experienced a *fate* similar to her own fate.